Who moved? God on mute or a God in pursuit?

I'm back to the blogging world! (Kind of). This is something I had written 2 months ago and for whatever reason, never published. I stumbled upon it again today and found it really encouraging (I was surprised, I don't usually find my own words encouraging, but anyway here we are). It is such a simple message that I often take for granted. I hope it encourages you in some way too.

You'll likely have a mate (or ex mate?) you just aren't as close with anymore. There might be a clear reason and then again, there might not be. We might be able to say "who moved", what changed, what didn't change, play the blame game and justify the breakdown in the relationship. This is where God is different. God never changes, never moves, never budges from where He is currently sitting. He never gets tired of hearing you speak, of watching you grow, of seeing you actively seek Him out. He is a God of Pursuit; He wants to know you personally.

While I know all of this, even as a christian this still doesn't stop me from sometimes asking "where are you?' when things seem tough or when He seems silent. I can look back on various points in my life and I remember asking myself that question and even getting angry at the thought that He would just leave me. Alone. In an uncomfortable or fearful position. I can also look back on various points in my life and I remember not asking myself that question because I wasn't bothered about the answer. I didn't want to know where He was because I wasn't in pursuit of Him but rather was just doing my own thing. But then when I did give God my consideration, I was angry with Him. Why would he just disappear? Go quiet? Seemingly walk off? I couldn't hear or feel Him so he must have just left me here.

So there's two things in this which overlap into this idea of "who moved" and actually have been whispered to me over the past few days.

Firstly, in scenario one - God never moves. He didn't and won't ever leave me alone. Even if I can't see or feel it, God is still working. He is still carving out His plan for my life, even in the still and silent moments. He is always up to something good, even if to the human eye it doesn't look like it and even if my human brain can't comprehend His actions. As christians we sometimes put God into a box without realising. We apply human characteristics to God and try to view His actions through our eyes while projecting human expectations onto Him. This way of thinking will never get us anywhere. God is God. Almighty, all-knowing, powerful, wise, beyond any human comprehension. Don't get me wrong, we can try to understand, but we won't always fully comprehend. And that's ok - because if we all understood all of the time, we'd have no need for God, and that isn't the case. We need Him consistently and just as much on our best days as we do on our worst days and sometimes that is forgotten.

Secondly, in scenario two - I didn't bother asking the question because (to my shame) I didn't care. God loves me anyway so why did I need to bother with Him? (Wrong attitude to have but that's a blog post for another time). But then when I finally brought my mind back to Him, I was guilty of playing the blame game. He was the one who left me, He was the one in the wrong. But this does not align with anything the bible says. God does not move. "I will never leave you, nor forsake you," So in that case, who moved? I did. I walked away. I temporarily closed the door. I took advantage of His grace and left Him. Me. Not Him. Abandonment is not in God's nature. But as a sinner, it is in mine.

But how insane it is to know that God is a God of pursuit and won't stop chasing me. Thankfully I find myself in a much healthier, happier position with Jesus. A much more stable relationship with a much stronger foundation. And that's come about because I've moved closer to Him. He has chased me in His pursuit and pulled me closer to Him. Something that has also helped me is the realisation that silence does not mean absence. I recently read the book "God on Mute" by Pete Grieg (would recommend you read it if you haven't already, especially if God's silence is something you struggle with) and it has been eye opening. Through the justification I experienced when I first came to God, I have direct access to my creator and the knowledge that I have been made right with Him. But through the sanctification I experience daily through God's willingness for me to become more like Jesus, I have the privilege of being moulded and shaped into who God has always intended me to be. You see, I had previously mistaken silence for meaning absence, causing me to step away from God when I should have been leaning in closer. But through reading "God on Mute" I have come to understand that God's silence can be part of the sanctification process. Through every trial I face, I am being shaped to be more like Christ (mind-blown I know). Through my surrender and my continual Yes to Jesus I am being prepared for eternity and my place in heaven. It is never promised that the sanctification process will be pain-free, and most of the time growth occurs in the most uncomfortable ways. But there is real joy in knowing that perseverance produces fruit and newness in Jesus. God is trying to teach you something through the silence. He has not stepped away, but rather is giving you the space to utilise your free will in pursuing Him and His plan.

As my desire to know Him has fluctuated (not intentionally, but fluctuated nonetheless), I have moved closer and apart again on repeat, which is not to be justified, but sadly is a result of my sinful nature. But what an absolute privilege and merciful blessing it is that He will never, ever turn me away, no matter how many times I turn Him away. He will never get up and walk way, no matter how many times I get up and walk away.He will never hold a grudge and huff when I return. He will never keep a record of all the wrong things I do. He will never make me earn His favour through good works. He is an unmoving, gracious God who has the capability to forgive limitlessly. And I for one am infinitely glad of that because I mess up every single day without full awareness because that is my sinful nature. While it feels (and is) entirely undeserving, how refreshing it is to know I can come before God with a remorseful heart and He will wipe every mess away, as if it never happened. We do not deserve His forgiveness. There's nothing physical we can do to earn it. Simply coming to Him, acknowledging His sacrifice of His Son on the cross, repenting of our sinful nature and seeking to pursue Him is all God wants from us. He wants you. He wants to be in a relationship with you. He wants you to know Him and experience the love He has for you.

There is nothing more powerful in life than experiencing the freedom God brings. The more freedom we experience the more we realise who we are and whose we are. That freedom comes from communion with God and allowing Him to work in our lives. God never moves. Only we do. Perhaps today is a day to take a step towards God again or to even step forward for the first time. He's ready and waiting to listen.

All my love,

Charis x